


end of the spring and here she comes back

by shiiera



Series: you stole my heart and i couldn't leave you if i tried [3]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Age Swap, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Is this hurt/comfort? IDK, Older Woman/Younger Man, Waiters & Waitresses, out of chronological order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-22
Updated: 2018-05-22
Packaged: 2019-05-10 01:43:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14727590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiiera/pseuds/shiiera
Summary: But it never happens. She does not do anything -- she can’t do anything because the words that slip through his lips hit her directly like knives. Rey blinks for a few moments and then laughs. It’s not her usual dry ones or her sarcastic ones. It’s a nervous laugh. An ‘Oh Shit ’ laugh. As if the woman finally realized how deep of a hole she’s dug with this kid.It’s a very deep hole.An AU where Rey is older than Ben and they don't know how to do "relationships". Just the sex part.





	end of the spring and here she comes back

**Author's Note:**

> hi, hi, hi, there. those summer days. them summer days. 
> 
> rey has insecurities. ben tries soothe them.
> 
> as always, never beta'd. just typed up on an iphone.

It’s easy when there’s no feelings involved. It’s easy when Rey doesn’t have to spend the night at Ben’s apartment; when she doesn’t have to entertain conversation and try to build on whatever they have. Whenever he wants to pull her into his messy web of daddy issues and emotional dependency, she gives an excuse:

_ Sorry, can’t stay. Picking out baby clothes with Rose. _

_ Yeah, let’s not do this. I have work in the morning. _

_ Just shut up and fuck me.  _

Rey has enough problems of her own to worry about. Like the fact her IUD is due to come out and how she doesn’t have the insurance to cover the visit, let alone cover the costs for a new one to be implanted. Then there’s the broken A/C unit in her hell hole of an apartment — but it’s not like  _ that  _ matters when ConEd can barely keep the power running through the current heat wave the city has been experiencing.

And then there’s her shitbag landlord, Unkar Plutt, who has been threatening to raise her rent for no other reason than forcing her out so he can flip the apartment and rent it out to some upper middle class rich kid who’s fresh from college with a brand new job in the city.

So, no, Rey doesn’t want this thing with Ben to go anywhere because she wants an escape from her problems and he’s that escape.

“ I want you to stay tonight.” Ben says as he runs his hands up and down her waistline as she straddles him. They’ve been in bed for the last four hours — since Rey showed up with a bag of takeout from Denny’s (it was free) and a six pack of beer. 

The food ended up on the table. The beer barely made it to the fridge before Ben lifted Rey by her hips and put her on the counter in his kitchen, attacking her mouth and neck with sloppy open mouth kisses and incoherent ramblings on how much he’s missed her. It almost kills her arousal — almost.

Part of it makes her heart drop and butterflies flutter in her stomach.  _ Part _ of it. 

She blames it on the weed she smoked with Poe before arriving.

Clothes are an option, Rey realizes. They spend more time tumbling between the sheets naked and panting than they do talking over coffee and bagels like any other normal adult in New York. Or couple -- but they’re not a couple. They’re not even friends. They’re fuck buddies. Not that she’s complaining. The kid has been blessed with the perfect body. Why would she object to seeing all that milky skin and taught muscles? Every day is Christmas in July with him.

And, it doesn’t help that she shuts him up with her mouth on his dick whenever he wants to talk about something beyond fucking her and stupid, weightless compliments that make her eyes roll. It’s not like she’s helping in bringing any form of civility to their arrangement.

“ I don’t want to stay.” Rey says as she steadies herself with her hands pressed against his chest. The sheets are pooled around her hips, granting the outside world some modesty, but her breasts are exposed and are marred with red bite marks and her thighs are covered with the imprints of his fingertips. They’ll be bruising soon -- he loves to leave his mark all over her body.

He calls it art. She thinks it’s sadistic.

“ You don’t have work today. Your A/C is broke.” He takes her right hand into his and brings her wrist to his lips. “ I have nothing to do and I have A/C.” He presses soft kisses against her pulse that makes the butterflies in her stomach flutter wildly and her heart skip. 

Rey yanks her hand away before he allows herself to give into his boyish charm, “ I like my sauna, thank you very much.” 

“ We’ve been together for almost a year, you know. Yet, you never want to stay. Why?”

This is the moment where Rey would lean in and kiss him. Maybe work her nimble fingers around his dick and start teasing it until he’s hard and leaking for her mouth. She’d move between his legs and tease him with her tongue, languidly lapping at the slit of his cock, while her hand lazily strokes him and eventually he’d forget ever asking her that dumb question.

But it never happens. She does not do anything -- she can’t do anything because the words that slip through his lips hit her directly like knives. Rey blinks for a few moments and then laughs. It’s not her usual dry ones or her sarcastic ones. It’s a nervous laugh. An ‘Oh Shit ’ laugh. As if the woman finally realized how deep of a hole she’s dug with this kid. 

It’s a very deep hole.

Rey doesn’t like it. No, she doesn’t like this one bit. She rolls off of him and quickly gets off the queen size bed with the expensive 500 thread count sheets that feel so much better than the ones she bought at Target for twenty bucks. She quickly slips on her black panties and white camisole while Ben watches with a blank expression on his face.

“ We,” Rey begins as she scoures the studio for her pants. “ Are  _ not _ together. We are not a couple. We aren’t anything.”

Where the fuck are they? It’s not like they could have gotten far -- the place is barely six hundred square feet for Christ’s sake. The pants aren’t near the balance ball or by the desk. Shit shit shit — she needs to get out of there because she definitely  _ does not _ want to get in to this with him. Not now. Not ever, preferably.

“ What do you mean?” 

She can hear Ben getting out of the bed. The frame creaks with the shifting of his weight. His feet hit the wood floor with a soft thump. And as she hears him walk over to her, she begins to frantically search for the rest of her clothes because she  _ absolutely _ does not want to deal with these conflicting emotions rupturing within her heart and mind.

Arms wrap around her narrow waist and she fights to get away. But, he’s so much taller and so much bigger and no matter how many times she tries to thrash and flail to get out of his tight hold, he only manages to hold her tighter and closer to his naked body. 

Rey just wants to cry at this point. 

“ Rey… Rey!  _ Rey _ ! Stop it. For fuck’s sake stop freaking out.” Ben barks as she tries to break away from his embrace. She slowly relents until she’s nothing more than limp body in his arms.

Fuck you. Fuck you, Ben Solo. 

“ Let me go…” Rey whispers. “ Get off and let me go.”

Ben slowly lets her go, then asks, “ What’s wrong?”

He still has the nerve to ask that after all of this. How dense is this kid that he still hasn’t gotten the hint. She still hasn’t told him her last name, let alone who her parents were. Rey has made it a point to hide as much of herself as possible from this kid just so she can maintain the barrier between them. Just so they never cross that line and yet here he is — like a stupid kid who simply can’t help but touch the fire after being warned not to.

“ How old am I?” Rey asks as she turns around to face him. She crossed her arms over he chest, puts her weight on leg and juts her hip out. She wants to look intimidating and maybe it’s working because he just looks at her blankly.

“ Why does it matter?”

“ What’s my last name?”

“ Again, why should that matter?”

“ Who are my parents? Where did I live before I came to this city? What did I do for a living before working at Denny’s? How many boyfriends have I had in the past?”

Ben blinks. Why is he looking at her with that stupid, confused look.

“ What’s wrong?”

“ My god. You’re so smart you’re dumb.” Rey scoffs. “ We aren’t a couple. You don’t know me. All we do is fuck. We are just a booty call after a hard day. So  _ stop _ trying to make us more than that!”

Ben stands before her and looks at her with a tight jaw. His right eye slightly twitches but he’s otherwise unreadable. He takes a step forward but she takes a step back. He reaches to touch her face with his fingers and she doesn’t flinch when he wipes away the tears that are falling down her freckled sun kissed cheeks.

“ You’re scared.”

He sounds so much older. So  _ sure _ of himself that he can simply cross into her personal space and  _ read _ her like an open book. Who is the kid now? It sure isn’t Ben. No, she has lost this battle. The butterflies still live in her stomach, her heart still sings and the cogs in her mind turn, turn, turn.

“ I don’t know what I am, Ben.” Rey says softly as his hand falls back to his side.

This is a summer affair that has been going on for way too long. Rey can’t help but think this as she allows Ben to enter her personal space and envelop her in an embrace. It was supposed to be a one-two thing; just a few hook ups in naughty places to satisfy the drought she was experiencing. He was good looking and he was willing to give her anything she wanted. That’s all it was supposed to be.

Rey didn’t expect to catch feelings for him. She knew the kid was foolish but she didn’t expect him to actually be in love with her either. And while he has never said the words to her with meaning, she can see it whenever he looks at her. His eyes give away everything. And, in this moment, he’s afraid of losing her. 

The stupid fucking kid actually loves her.

And maybe that’s why she lets him cover her body with open mouth kisses. Maybe that’s why she lets him hold her against the wall, next to the window with the rain drenched skyline that he could never afford on his own, with her legs wrapped around his waist, with her panties hanging off of one ankle and his cock seated deep inside of her as he makes shallow thrusts with each roll of his hips.

Because things are just so much more easier to deal with when he’s coming inside of her and whispering foolish things in her ear, as if they’ll make her stay.

_ I love you so much. _

_ You’ll never be alone because I’m always with you. _

_ I need you so much. _

It’s almost enough that she actually believes him. 

But when she looks at that photo of Ben with his family on his desk, with her legs wrapped around his waist, his cock softening inside her, and his cum slowly dripping out of her between them, she knows it’s all pillow talk with no substance. He’s just running away and she’s nothing more than a creature comfort.

The longer she looks at the picture, the more she focuses on the woman sitting in the center of the group. Mrs. Skywalker-Solo’s gaze is striking as she sits as the new matriarch of the Skywalker family. They look like the royals Rey had grown up watching on the television as a child. Prestigious and regal; the son stands behind the mother while the father stands opposite of him in expensive suits and dress blues.

The longer Rey looks at the photo, the fear manifests itself in the back of her mind.

She has no place in this family’s story.

**Author's Note:**

> another addition to this fanfic. it's now become something. this chapter is out of chronological order. they've been messing around for about nine months now but haven't put a label on it. rey has a lot of baggage that she keeps internalized whereas ben just likes to drop these tmi bombs on her. i don't think either one of them are really listening to each other, lol.
> 
> i am loving the reactions and comments i've been receiving for this little series of one-shots. thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me! 
> 
>  
> 
> [muh tumblrs](http://shiiiera.tumblr.com/)


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